“As he is, so are we also in this world.” You must take the manger, or you shall never
take the throne; you must have the cross, or you shall never wear the crown; you
must be despised and rejected, or you shall never be accepted and crowned; you must
wade through the mire, or you shall never walk the golden pavement" C.H.S.
Christ exists seamlessly in two realms. The realm of heaven and the realm of our heart. As he is both, so are we. We have one foot in heavens door and the rest of us is here on earth.
I struggle with what Spurgeon is meaning when he asks us to take the manger. Is that a return to our youth? Is that to inflect ours innocence outwardly?
The second line is telling. Too many believers want to wear the crown on earth. The crown on earth is not the same crown as the one that exists in Heaven. The crown on earth wraps the heads of men in worldly things, while the cross bears the knocks and holes that estimate our earthly selves in the eyes of God.
There is no golden pavement on this side of the sky, nay, our reward is divine, when we mark our communion with saints only then will the earth shine, for now, we will dredge the more and win souls for the completion of eternity.
Friday, November 4, 2011
The Point of Blog....
"I do not believe in keeping diaries and putting down every day what you feel, or what
you think you feel but never did feel. I fear it would become a mere formality, or an
exercise of imagination to most of us; for when I read very pious people’s diaries
they always seem to me to have had an eye to the people who would read them, and
to have put down both more and less than the truth; I am a little frightened at the
artificial style of experience which it must lead to." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon.
In this vain is the reason I keep this blog. Not to exercise my own conceit, rather highlight my own failures. To expose myself as noting more than I am. "If any man could see his own heart as it is by nature, he would be driven mad: the sight of our disease is not to be borne unless we also see the remedy"
you think you feel but never did feel. I fear it would become a mere formality, or an
exercise of imagination to most of us; for when I read very pious people’s diaries
they always seem to me to have had an eye to the people who would read them, and
to have put down both more and less than the truth; I am a little frightened at the
artificial style of experience which it must lead to." - Charles Haddon Spurgeon.
In this vain is the reason I keep this blog. Not to exercise my own conceit, rather highlight my own failures. To expose myself as noting more than I am. "If any man could see his own heart as it is by nature, he would be driven mad: the sight of our disease is not to be borne unless we also see the remedy"
V.a.c.a.t.i.o.n.s
I struggle with the idea of vacations. Always have. The last time I took a legitimate travel for pleasure vacation was when I was 15 years old. Obviously, it shows by my pasty exterior.
It's not that I'm diametrically opposed to the idea of relaxation, I suppose that it had more to do with the fact I've always had a hard time... slowing down, taking a look at the bigger picture.
Not that "vacations" as a kid were really vacations. They ended up being rehab trips for my ailing parents. Unless we were staying with cousins in South Carolina, which was the closest thing we ever truly had to a vacation. With that said, perhaps my definition of vacation is not aligned with what "normies" (I totally used "normies" in a sentence!) would consider a vacation.
I think there's more to it than that though. Because I have had opportunities come and go over the years and I have ALWAYS declined. Regardless of whether my circumstances would have allowed such an expense. Sure, I have been the participant of many short-term mission trips (which served as pseudo-vacations at times), but the "pure" get-away vacation? Always. Without fail. Have declined.
Maybe it speaks to a condition within within my soul. A condition that starts with some anxiety, followed by a pull away from any vacation-oriented idea. I suppose some of it stems from a need need to always be in motion, yolked evenly with a desire to serve others over myself and to do a greater work here on earth. Now granted, this altruism is not borne of myself. It comes from my creator and my savior.
With my current job I have plenty of opportunities for impending vacations. More than at any point in my life. Prior to 25, I really wasn't in a life....or financial position....to take vacations. I was building up all kinds of vacation time at KKI, but all of that became a payout once I got to Loyola. So while plans were indeed in the works prior to my departure... They never manifested.
Maybe my struggle with vacation, and the idea of it, isn't some malevolence I have to vacations. Because I certainly don't have a problem with anyone who takes them.
While I have come so far in life, my soul still feels a little bit... behind. I still envision myself as a 16 year old without two nickels to rub together. I still envision myself as that kid sitting in the backseat of a beat-up station wagon, working at 3:00 a.m. delivering papers so mom and dad could afford food. Still remember Mom's friends from church donating clothes for me so that I would have stuff to wear to school. Those are the lasting memories that my soul still draws from. So even with the good job, the career, the independence all in place...I still default sometimes to that other place. Where my soul resided before. I think intrinsically, no matter how many professional or career successes I come upon..... Ultimately...
I still see myself as a kid from the other side of the tracks.
I vowed twice that I would never take vacations.
The irony is, if you asked me if I would be willing to talk a week of and spend some time in prayer and communion with God, I wouldn't hesitate. So maybe it has everything to do with how I look at the word vacation... and not so much to with the manifestation of the activity. I don't have to lack purpose and commitment just because I go on vacation. Those two things are not mutually exclusive.
So perhaps the point of all this is not confuse apathy with time away from a job. It's time away, used to purposefully honor God.
It's not that I'm diametrically opposed to the idea of relaxation, I suppose that it had more to do with the fact I've always had a hard time... slowing down, taking a look at the bigger picture.
Not that "vacations" as a kid were really vacations. They ended up being rehab trips for my ailing parents. Unless we were staying with cousins in South Carolina, which was the closest thing we ever truly had to a vacation. With that said, perhaps my definition of vacation is not aligned with what "normies" (I totally used "normies" in a sentence!) would consider a vacation.
I think there's more to it than that though. Because I have had opportunities come and go over the years and I have ALWAYS declined. Regardless of whether my circumstances would have allowed such an expense. Sure, I have been the participant of many short-term mission trips (which served as pseudo-vacations at times), but the "pure" get-away vacation? Always. Without fail. Have declined.
Maybe it speaks to a condition within within my soul. A condition that starts with some anxiety, followed by a pull away from any vacation-oriented idea. I suppose some of it stems from a need need to always be in motion, yolked evenly with a desire to serve others over myself and to do a greater work here on earth. Now granted, this altruism is not borne of myself. It comes from my creator and my savior.
With my current job I have plenty of opportunities for impending vacations. More than at any point in my life. Prior to 25, I really wasn't in a life....or financial position....to take vacations. I was building up all kinds of vacation time at KKI, but all of that became a payout once I got to Loyola. So while plans were indeed in the works prior to my departure... They never manifested.
Maybe my struggle with vacation, and the idea of it, isn't some malevolence I have to vacations. Because I certainly don't have a problem with anyone who takes them.
While I have come so far in life, my soul still feels a little bit... behind. I still envision myself as a 16 year old without two nickels to rub together. I still envision myself as that kid sitting in the backseat of a beat-up station wagon, working at 3:00 a.m. delivering papers so mom and dad could afford food. Still remember Mom's friends from church donating clothes for me so that I would have stuff to wear to school. Those are the lasting memories that my soul still draws from. So even with the good job, the career, the independence all in place...I still default sometimes to that other place. Where my soul resided before. I think intrinsically, no matter how many professional or career successes I come upon..... Ultimately...
I still see myself as a kid from the other side of the tracks.
I vowed twice that I would never take vacations.
The irony is, if you asked me if I would be willing to talk a week of and spend some time in prayer and communion with God, I wouldn't hesitate. So maybe it has everything to do with how I look at the word vacation... and not so much to with the manifestation of the activity. I don't have to lack purpose and commitment just because I go on vacation. Those two things are not mutually exclusive.
So perhaps the point of all this is not confuse apathy with time away from a job. It's time away, used to purposefully honor God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)